Because I’m pretty exhausted, both mentally and physically, I’ll keep this quick.
FIRST AND FOREMOST:
To everyone who comments and reads and cares and supports and sends well wishes and all – THANK YOU. You have no idea how much it means to me. I read all your comments and they make me laugh and feel better and tear up, sometimes all at the same time! So thank you. Ok, I’m done with the mush now.
1. There were only four people in the group this session, and everyone was pretty quiet, which sort of bummed me out. Now, I’m not one to judge, and if people don’t want to talk one day, that’s fine, but the therapists running the group would be like “So, now, what did you all write down for that exercise? Who wants to start?” and everyone would look down at their paper and just sit there and not say anything. I feel like I’m being extremely judgmental and kind of mean, but part of me is sitting there thinking, come ON guys, what is this, junior high therapy? No one’s talking, seriously? This is the adult program, don’t you all want to participate? Get the biggest bang for your buck? Really work on getting better? And of course I didn’t want to pipe up, because I’m the newbie, and I want to hear some examples before I start spewing out stuff and potentially making a fool out of myself.
Eventually, I was like, ok whatever. I’m here for ME. *I* want to work on this. I’m here to get the most out of these sessions, and if that means I’m the one who’s going to start the discussion, so be it. So I talked a bit, which got some other people talking, and (phew) no one said my views/opinions/discussion was lame or anything.
2. Dinner was fine. My meal was totally a-ok. It had grains, proteins, veggies, fruit, fat, and a caloric drink (juice). It met all the requirements and any anxiety I had over that went out the window. All four of us, plus a coordinator, sat at a big table in the middle, and we had 30 minutes to eat our meal. They provide plates, utensils, some condiments, glasses, napkins, etc. We’re supposed to eat slowly and mindfully. Done and done.
Ok, wow, I’m more exhausted than I thought. So instead of talking about the meditation/yoga/relaxation exercises we did (which were awesome btw), I’m going to pass the hell out in bed.
Overall, my impressions of the program were kind of meh. It could have just been this particular group, or the particular day, I don’t know. I’m absolutely going to give it more time. =)
And on that note…. zzzzzzzzzz.
12 Comments
December 9, 2009 at 12:13 am
Give it some time. Sometimes it takes a while for people to warm up, especially if theres a new person in the group. And by all means who cares if you are the first to speak… don’t be afraid to get the ball rollin’.
December 9, 2009 at 7:38 am
I get so frustrated when people won’t participate too. This happens to me a lot at work. So I end up speaking up, A LOT. Oh well. Good for you for initiating the conversation!
Gosh. 30 minutes to eat? I know that is a normal time, but reading that just made me think about how I ALWAYS eat too fast. I need to work on that.
Can’t wait to hear more! I would love to hear about the relaxation exercises. I keep reading about how meditation is so good for you!
December 9, 2009 at 7:51 am
Good for you for giving it more time. It will take a while to get used to it.
December 9, 2009 at 8:15 am
You have to remember that everyone there is scared and some people may be there against there will. Great job getting things going. You’re absolutely right, that you are there for YOU. Good luck and keep your head up!
December 9, 2009 at 8:34 am
Interesting. I get frustrated when people won’t talk also, but then again I get frustrated when people talk too much in situations too. LOL
I hope the next group you go to is much better.
December 9, 2009 at 8:50 am
It has to seem so much easier now that the first session is over. Good for you for making that jump. I think its definitely a good idea to give it one more try.
Hope you got a good night’s sleep!
December 9, 2009 at 10:58 am
I’m glad you’re giving it one more time. That’s such a great idea!
December 9, 2009 at 5:09 pm
Congrats on making it through your first day! It took a lot of guts, and it sounds like a solid beginning!
December 9, 2009 at 8:46 pm
I can’t wait to read more about your journey. Congrats on taking the first steps and getting yourself help. I hope the group therapy sessions get better and become more useful. Thanks for being so honest about everything and sharing this journey with your readers!
December 9, 2009 at 9:53 pm
I’ve been reading your blog for a while now. I’m so proud that you signed up and went! The first day is over with….whew. I bet it’s hard to have all of these ideas of what it is going to be like and then actually experience it. You’re brave to speak up and smart because you definitely want to make the most of your time!
December 10, 2009 at 10:09 am
I always find situations like that awkward, but then I try to over compensate by being chatty…and then I can, like see myself, blabbering on with a slight crazed look in my eye, and have to force myself to shaddup! I would have failed at eating in the thirty minutes…I would have horked it down, and looked around embarrassed.
I am sure the group will be much better now that you are in it! Stay brave kitteh! Remember, you may have a lot to learn, but you may also have a lot to share with others!
December 13, 2009 at 8:20 am
I’m really behind in reading my favorite blogs…. Good for you for going to the group. I bet people will open up more as they get comfortable. I was a counselor for several years, and it does take time to develop a group dynamic. Hang in there. If no one else talks, maybe you’ll get more individual therapy out of the group!